Health and Fitness

With the weekend house guests, I kind of gotten off my eating plan. For the most part I managed to continue to eat clean but my proportions were way off!  Gigantic!!   I am hoping to get back into my clean eating and exercising now.  I am even thinking of adding a little 15 minute workout when I get home with my little guy for some added cardio.   I do have a couple of weddings at the end of the month that I could use as motivation for sticking to everything and maybe even going that extra mile.

Life can be busy with a toddler, so my regular workouts happen at lunch time.   I have committed myself to them and it really does work well for me.  You can work out if you have a family, you just need to sneak it in when you can.  Sneak whenever you can 20 minutes here, 10 minutes there, whatever – but it is possible .  I am really committed to exercise because I have a fat gene that dwells within. I don’t have the genetics or the metabolism anymore to just eat whatever and not worry about exercising. I have to do both, I have to eat well and exercise -  I can’t do one without the other-  it simply doesn’t work.  Don’t start picturing me as some super athletic tiny bodied person, I am not – I have a leftover baby belly which will probably always be there. I have made peace with that.  I would say I am average size with average proportions, so I am very far from being a supermodel (I am too short anyways).  I may not be a model but I do have a very solid health and fitness goal : to be healthy and active.  

My goal used to be to be healthy and active for myself, but now I do it for my family. Not only do I want to be around a long time, I think it brings a certain cool factor.   My parents never played any sports as adults or ran any races, but I had a couple of friends whose parents did and I thought that was so cool.  I am not doing it entirely for the cool factor, I am doing it really to keep up with my family.  People will tell you that a toddler keeps you in shape but I think I need to stay in shape to keep up with him. The other day I got him out of his car seat and set him down, as I started to walk up to the house coaxing him to come along, he decided it would be funnier if he bolted for the road. I darted as fast as I could and cut him off well before the pass. I looked at my husband and he said – that’s the real reason you work out.  I think it is….

House Guests

I had an absolutely exhausting weekend, it was fun but exhausting. Sometimes I think I need a weekend to recover from my weekend.  Just like I always need a vacation to recover from my vacation.  We had some overnight guests at our home, which is something we do very often. We aren’t originally from here and family seems to be scattered throughout the province, so it means everyone take their turns visiting, which means a lot of weekends (especially in the summer) get booked up for us.

For the most part I enjoy it. It is nice seeing family you haven’t seen for a while. But no matter how awesome the family or the visit it is far from your schedule and often leaves you wiped out from the whole ordeal.   The little man seems to be doing better but it is getting hard for him to stay healthy and on a normal routine with so much disruption to regular life.  Even I am thrown off my game during these visiting weekends.  The damage is minimal if the house guest is self-sufficient, but when you get one or some who  isn’t,  it just about kills all of us. 

I guess I am a do-it yourself kind of person.  I don’t really expect people to wait on me when I am somewhere, I will do things on my own time at my own leisure.  I hate going to someone’s house for a visit and they produce an itinerary,  I really am content just hanging out. Especially when it’s family, after all I am there to visit them, not to attend some museum exhibit. Fun, yes, but not the reason I came.   So when people come to visit me I tend to take that approach.  I also tend to try to have items or cook meals based on the individual. I don’t go out of my way and only have that, but if I am getting a guest who is a meat and potato kind of person, I will have that for them. I don’t force them to eat salad only, but at the same time I have plenty of options so I am happy too.  

Regardless,  weekend after weekend of visits can leave a person really craving some me time and just some peace and quiet.

Shhhhh…do not disturb!

Meditation - food for the soul

I have to admit, I can be a skeptic.  I am also gullible. I am an enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in a delicious candy!  But there is something very powerful about meditation and I have to say, I want to feel this way all the time.

I recently started meditating and it was helping but then life got busy and I got lazy and instead of working to keep it in my life, I let it fall.  So having been close to the edge and back, I decide that I need to commit myself to meditation again and holly crap I can't believe how it works. After being in one of the biggest funks I have ever experience, two days of meditating  later, I feel completely different. Nothing has changed, but my perception and it is thanks to meditation.

I am just amazed at how much is truly helps me and I even more amazed that I let it slide. I let myself be lazy and it was like not eating, my conscious needs to be meditate the same way my body needs to eat.  All those doctors and self help advocates aren't big fat liars, who knew?! If you eat well, exercise and meditate the world is a completely different place. I kind of like this world.

The fat lazy couch dweller inside me just barfed a little, but she can take the back seat for a long time, I am driving now.

Two will do

Two seems to do for lots of people. This is an ideal amount of children for many.  I get the idea, you want them to have a sibling, a companion - and too many children and they outnumber you! 

As a person who has one child, I do think I would like to have another child, but what amazes me is how people assume that I WILL have another or how I NEED to have another.  As if going through childbirth once wasn't the real challenge, the real challenge is to do it twice or multiple times

Some friends of mine have one child and are very happy but I am amazed at a party when the topic comes up, it is phrased like "well I JUST have the one".  And even if they say yes I have a child, my son or daughter, the next question can often be "just the one?". Maybe the person posing the question wants to make sure they are getting it right,  or maybe they are just making conversation but if they had more than one don't you think they would have said it point blank.

I think having one child is an awesome thing, there are many people (including me) who have one child and are very proud of that. I am just a little annoyed at societies need to define a family as more than one child, as if you aren't woman enough unless you give birth more than once. Sure this is my beef, but it's my blog so suck it up!  When I got married I got the question "when are you guys having kids?" over and over. Now that  I have a wonderful toddler I get the question " when are you going to have another".  Strange how I believe it stops after that. Not to often you here people say "so, are you guys going to try for number 7, I think its about time".


When I was a teenager I worked at an Arby's fast food restaurant and the owner was....let's call him economically savvy, he had this saying posted on top of all the napkins "why take two when one will do".  Can't help but think of it right now.

Supermom

My dedication to blogging daily lasted 3 days, what commitment!!  In my defense it was not the weekend I had hoped for and spent most of it with a toddler who is under the weather.The weekend lead to a cumulative point of me on the floor sweeping up pieces of chicken and quinoa crying softly, as my husband peaked through the window in fear.  I didn’t mean for it to get to that point but it did.  I didn't have the opportunity to blog this weekend nor did I have the opportunity to meditate which probably helped attribute to my mini meltdown. Why did I have a mini-meltdown?  I was just exhausted and sometimes when I am exhausted I let things get to me that shouldn't.  When I am really tired I fall victim to the supermom syndrome - where I try to do everything and I am really hard on myself when I don't accomplish it all.

I feel that women are under an insane about of pressure.  Don't get me wrong, we as women have come a long way and I am very proud of that, but it does lead to an interesting dilemma : we are now expected to do EVERYTHING. Now, you are not only expected to have an amazing career but you are also expected to have a family too.   If you don’t have children, you aren't a REAL women. If you stay at home with your children, well you don’t participate in REAL life.  You have to do both and both to the extreme. You have to show up to your scheduled play date with snacks that you baked yourself and talk to the other moms how you make a 6 figure salary and still have time with your children, your husband and your general household.  It's no wonder many of us snap!

A wee bit of an exaggeration,  yes – its one of my best features, but my point is still clear, today there is a big need to do it all – to be the supermom, or the superwoman!   It’s hard and can lead to moments where you are crying on your floor because your child isn’t feeling well and refuses to eat anything, your husband who has been more then helpful is now heading to his scheduled game, and you are all alone with the world against you, absolutely exhausted from the day!   The sick part about this supermom pressure, the part I hate the most – there is a small part of me, who actually wants to do it all. I want to be that mom, I want to be that woman! We all know who she is: the one who is super fit , has a great job, a beautiful family, who shows up to playdates with healthy homemade organic snacks, who gives cute homemade gifts to everyone for their birthdays, who is a wonderful person – that you just can’t seem to stop hating.  I want to be her but I also hate her - I believe some therapy might be needed on my part!?

I do want the best for my children, I am a health nut, I want a fulfilling job and an awesome social life too, but it is impossible to do absolutely everything and I really think we need to leave the capes at home. You aren’t any less of  women if you can’t or don’t want any children – please please please let people know this.   One of the hardest jobs out there is stay at home mom so say it with pride ladies - don't quietly shrug this off, this is awesome!   If you have one child – that is great, don’t say I JUST have the one child.  I think we need to strive for our best and ignore the rest.   I think being a women is awesome and we need to stop competing, we need to stop making each other feel bad and celebrate each other. We need to be proud of who we are – we have options, not obligations and when we are able to recognize that they are indeed options, then life can get a whole lot easier.

And please...please please please, don't  cry over spilled quinoa and chicken. 

Potty Time

I have a toddler, just one, of the boy variety and love him more than anything. Something that has been nagging at me is that soon I should be starting potty training.  I have plenty of time, he isn’t even two yet. I have people telling me at 18 month he could be ready to go but until recently I haven’t really seen any signs. Being the slightly neurotic person that I am, I tend to tackle things with oodles of research – so it is probably no surprise to you that I have bought several books and have read a variety of material on the subject at hand.

Let me stress, it is still far too early for the little guy and let me stress this even more, every child is different.  I am surprised at the amount of people who are rushing their children, when they are clearly not ready.  I am even more amazed at the amount of people who are like – oh you better get on top of that.  Parents can be competitive – just ignore them.  It starts from birth and I am told never stops.  Keep ignoring them  for two reasons 1) it’s their child’s accomplishments not theirs  and 2)bodies develop at different rates and that is no way indicative of the future.  Enjoy your child. I also let those people get to me at the start and every once and a while someone really gets on my  nerves, but for the most part I simply enjoy my child, as I believe all parents should.  

The potty training thing is a very different beast – yes, he needs to be biologically ready, needs to be able to hold things in and needs to have the dexterity to actually remove his pants and sit on the potty but the training part is something that is actually relying on me.  He needs me to show him how to do it and to teach him the way – what do they call it – parenting ? I think?  So I am now moving in to a completely different territory where there is a combination of teaching and him being ready – when the two meet – you get some fabulous results.   This parenting thing is getting a lot more complicated. Who knew?

Last night we came home and when we entered the door he went to find his potty, which we had out so he would be comfy with it.  He wanted his pants off, his diaper off, which he completed with little help.  You probably are thinking, sounds like he is ready.    I would agree with you until what happened next. He then proceeded to put the potty on his head and pee on the floor.  I couldn’t help but laugh.  He looked confused. I explained to him, normally you sit in the potty and pee – but the look on his face said “mom, you be crazy!”.

Maybe he is right, maybe I am the one who is crazy!

Fluid...like jello

Recently I have gone on a mental health kick, I am getting back into meditation, I am practicing yoga and I am listening to a lot of guided lectures on various spiritual ideologies.  I think one of the most important lessons I have learned lately is that to be fluid like water, when things change just change with it, essentially – go with the flow.

How am I progressing? I have my moments, but it is freaking hard! 

I am learning just how many things in my genetic code have been hardwired incorrectly.  Besides my lazy gene, which I mentioned in the last post, I have this really annoying gene that I call the “people pleaser gene”.  This, my friends, is a very complicated gene.  Not only do I want everyone to like me and for me to be included in EVERYTHING,  I want to please those people too.  Here is the worst part, even if I don’t like those people, I want them to like me. Yes, even if I don’t want to go to the event, I want to be invited!  I know this is WAY unhealthy, and for more reasons than this one, I should be in therapy, but it amazes me just how hardwired this is within me. I am doing my own version of cognitive therapy right now, letting myself know this not healthy and I should just be like water – fluid and just go with it – but holy crap it amazes me where I go naturally. In my defense,  I have made improvements, but I am amazed at how often I have to talk myself down from the cliff.

Would you like to step inside my mind, it isn’t pretty – you might want to wait an hour if you have just eaten. Here is a glimpse: I get an email, and I am the ONLY one not included . Where do I go automatically - " Sally hates me, she left me out because she doesn’t like me" .  Then I say “stop it, you’re being silly, there are many names here and she probably just genuinely forgot”. Then comes, a small voice in my mind whom I a have dubbed, evil Danielle,  and she says “subconsciously you obviously aren’t important to her, otherwise she would have made sure your name was there”. Evil Danielle – you are one crafty devil!  

Man, that reads in a very neurotic tone. Hmm…maybe therapy isn’t too far away after all.

Like I said, I warned you, it’s not a pretty picture, but I think it is a place where many of us go automatically and frankly it has got to stop. I am getting better and believe it or not meditation does actually help a lot, I just need to beat the crap out of that lazy gene and keep on practicing.

So, am I fluid like water? Not yet, maybe I am at a jello or pudding consistently...but I am working on it...just don't cancel your dinner with me!